Brains? No thanks, I’m still living.

Seeing as how tomorrow evening the earth may end and the CDC is even blogging about the Zombie Apocalypse, we may be on our way out.  I thought I would go over a few ideas to help get through the weekend and fend off any zombies if they show up.

First off you need to determine what kind of zombies you are dealing with.  What, you didn’t know there was more than one type of zombie?  Well there are several, you have the traditional Vodoo zombie which is believed to be a cursed soul, or the dead is brought back to life through the practice of voodoo.  I doubt those will be the ones we deal with.  Then you have the Philosophical Zombie, who is a normal person but have no conscious experience because they lack a mind.  Then you have the Hollywood zombie.  These are the ones who have become flesh-eating creatures which have been infected either from a disease or an experiment gone wrong.  This is what I foresee happening.

Since we are going to be dealing with the more modern version of a zombie there are a few things we need to know about them.  The first is that most should not have more than human strength.  Second, most people believe their movement will be slower as their brains are not fully functioning.  Third, they still seem to group together due to some cognitive need.  Finally, they crave the flesh of the living and brains, if you’re reading this it means you.

The next thing we should cover is how to defend yourself.  Now these are zombies, not vampires or werewolves so leave the wooden stakes at home.  You can bring the silver bullets but why waste money on the shiny stuff.  All you need is some traditional ammo.  Max Brooks has an extremely valid point in his book The Zombie Survival Guide, blades don’t run out of ammo.  This is a very pertinent point because it’s a lot harder to pistol whip a zombie than it is to break out the axe.  I do however recommend to only maintain a blade as a secondary weapon.  Why get so close when you can keep them at bay with a 12 gauge.  Now when you are targeting the zombie it is believed you can only kill them by killing what little brain they have left.  So shoot for the head. If you just take out their legs they will still be able to crawl after you.

One of the most important things to do is ensure you have your emergency supplies and a well equipped safe zone, or a house like this.

Staying out of their reach and not having to venture out is definitely key.  If they can’t reach you then you’re safe.

So, before you go out to run your errands on Saturday make sure to stop by the store and stock up on the supplies and ammo, or make sure you have a good friend that has supplies to share.

Brian Farno
Application Engineer
Twitter: @EXAIR_BF

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